Sweet Valley High book...or porn?

That's sketchy.

I find this strangely mesmerizing...

So, this week was one of the best of the summer.

First of all, I went to an amazing Harry Potter Downtown Extravaganza! dressed as a Hufflepuff with Aubrey.







I started reading Deathly Hallows right away and finished within about 3 days. I found it satisfying, depressing, and also a bit disappointing. Many people have described it as being fanfic-y and I kind of agree.

I also got to spend an entire week with Peter! I got to have him for my birthday! <3

I celebrated by stuffing my face with one and a half pounds of crab legs and drinking my first legal drink at Red Lobster. It was delicious and probably had very little alcohol in it. But it was pretty! :)

I also was legally served alcoholic beverages at a bar, and I didn’t even have to pay for them! *clink clink* to a future of alcoholism and mooching…how grand :D

Also, Best Birthday Present EVAR!!!!!!!! Aubrey crocheted me a Robert Smith doll. How amazing is she?



Speaking of amazing, on September 23rd, I get to see the Cure, FINALLY, at Madison Square Garden...freaking THIRD ROW. I hope to get jowl-sweat all the fuck over me. Plus I'm going with a friend who is as obsessed as I am with Robert Smith, and my high school English teacher XD

Ok, now for some ridiculousness!

If you have feel anxiety over the size of you man-parts (as I do every waking moment), do not despair... there is a probably (through unlikely) someone out there who is smaller than you.

...ever had one of those days where is was imperative that you live your day as a black women? Well, Lois Lane has...



...what?



Oh NOES! All the stop signs are...GREEN!

And finally, I love out-of-context comic panels that are obviously sexual.



oh subtlety...you're my favorite <3

So many old red-headed Nickelodeon stars...I think my head might explode!!



I want to dance around in the middle of a room and have Mark Summers throw slime all over me! And I wouldn't make out with a balding Ferguson, but when I was 11 I probably would have made out with Budnik...he worked that mullet.

This makes me really happy. I want to work at a place like this. Plus, I love this song!




Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri and Vimeo.

I have stumbled upon this amazing New Zealand folk-comedy due, the Flight of the Conchords, and they sing an amazing David Bowie parody. So good.

David Bowie (the only reason you need), nipple antennae (ok, that's a pretty good reason too), LSD, fondue, and spacey-goodness!!!



Also, The Humans are dead!!! Robots have killed them all!!! OH NOES!



Gangsta-Folk-Rap...aww yea-ah. (not as good as the nerd-rap, I have to say<3)

In case you didn’t know…women smell, and it is their Own Damn Fault!

So ladies, if you smell, you better take care of it, or else YOUR HUSBAND WILL LEAVE YOU. Just sayin'.

Also, more importantly, David Bowie IS and Always Has Been the most attractive human being on this earth.

PROOF:

Seriously. Who DOESN'T want to tap that?!?? (well, besides me...)

Ok. Actual PROOF:

And, Look at This:

Nose kisses are so adorable. ><>

Even if you do not believe in the Bowie. You should heed Bunny's warnings...

The snow has been amazing lately. I like to run around and throw myself in it. There should be more of it, but without the wind and without the cold. I HATE wind.

It is almost Spring Break! The middle of my term sucked, but I think I rocked both my Behavioral Medicine essay exam as well as my latest stats exam. Hopefully on Tuesday, when I get those tests back I will not be sorely mistaken. I only have one more full day of Spanish, and an oral presentation. THEN I WILL BE DONE.

Spring break will hopefully mean hanging out with Aubrey and perhaps Tierney (?) who I haven’t seen in foreeeeever. And maybe a little bit of Peter. Eh. Only if I feel like it ;) I hate him.

...My body was not meant to eat so much pizza...

I....I don't know how to feel...

Ok, so haven't updated in awhile.

Chicago was amazing. School has started, and isn't as amazing. I have realized I am terrible at both Spanish and Statistics. Hopefully I never have to go into the field of 'Spanish Statistics,' because if I did, I would fail miserably. On an upside, in Spanish class recently, the readings and movie clips have been mentioning prostitution, sex, erections, and condoms. So that's cool, I guess.

Over Christmas break, I learned how to knit--sort of. At this point in time, I can make scarves. Soon I hope to upgrade to socks and mittens.

Lately, I have been drinking too much coffee and watching too much network television.

Peter and I saw Blood & Chocolate and Pan's Labyrinth last weekend.
Pan's Labyrinth was kind of amazing. It was in Spanish, and violent, and slightly distressing, but so beautiful. And it made me cry, which basically means I loved it.

There was this one scene, where a few fairies get their heads eaten by a creepy man with eyes in his hands (The Pale Man)...

=

?

and it reminded me of my favorite Goya painting, 'Saturn eating his children,' which I totally saw at the Prado :) It's strange how much I love Spain, but hate Spanish.
(Creepy coincidental side note: The man who plays the Faun and The Pale Man played one of 'The Gentlemen' in one of my favorite Buffy episodes, "Hush." So great.)

I have been searching for this forever, and now I have found it:

Yep. I think I am going to cut my hair tomorrow. Let's all pray I don't hate it and become a self-loathing crab-monster. I ate crab legs today, and they were delicious.

After much prodding and pleading, my mom finally said yes to Chicago! This makes me incredibly happy. This means in two weeks there will be Christmas, Peter time in Chicago, then back to Carleton to be reunited with my lovely Lily and Kaitlin-a-tron! I think I can remain relatively sane for the next two weeks. Hopefully I will get more (non-sick?) Aubrey time, Bre bonding, Spanish re-studying, movie watching, and get some reading in.

I realized I never posted about the amazing Decemberists concert, so now, a month or so later, I will do so. My mom drove me, Aubrey, and Javier (the Aubrey boyfriend) to U of M to pick up the Peter. After some waiting…and waiting…Peter finally broke away from his Quizbowl tournament. We ate at the Hard Rock (mmm ribs! I love me some animal carcass!) and then waited in line at First Ave. There were even Carleton people in line near us :) The opening act was Alasdair Roberts, who was very Scottish. He sang Lyke Wake Dirge beautifully. Aubrey and Javier were on a separate side of the venue as Peter and I, so we got some video from different angles. There were tall people in front of us. . .

They opened with Crane Wife 3, and then July, July. And I say your uncle was a crooked French Canadian! Aubrey got most of We Both Go Down Together, which I now forever have in my memory Aubrey and Peter singing, on either side of me, as we walked down Division. Meet me on my vast veranda...my sweet untouched Miranda...

Poor Colin Meloy had the flu or something, so about halfway through the concert he had to take a short, uh, intermission. The band played a lovely rendition of “You are my Sunshine.” It was adorable. That song has a weird assosiation in my head, because my mom used to sing it to me all the time, but also, when I was in Barcelona, there were a bunch of Celtics fans singing in the Hard Rock, drunk off their asses, singing a football chant in the tune of "You are my Sunshine," but instead, the lyrics included "YOU FUCKING WAAANKER!" I miss Spain. Then the band polkaed for a bit until Colin returned.

I got the entire ending of The Island. The amp almost electrocuted Colin. We were happy it didn't. Finally, after a shortened set, they encored with Myla Goldberg. It was an amazing show, despite Colin's illness. I can only imagine a Decemberist's concert when he's not sick and throwing up! They would probably make my head explode.

Winter Break has been a bit dull without anyone to entertain me, but it is looking up, with Christmas approaching. I am going to try to get Bre to take me to see The Holiday tomorrow. I need some female chick flick bonding. I recently went to (yet another) Aerosmith concert. My mother is in love with Stephen Tyler and Joe Perry. It’s kind of creepy, but probably less creepy than my infatuation with David Bowie. What can I say--I inherited my mother’s old man love.



Oh, and what the hell is up with everyone I knew from high school getting engaged/married? Seriously. Stop freaking me out...

Hooray 19th Century dildos!

I am slowly making my way through the second season of Boston Legal and in episode 20, "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang," a divorcing couple are fighting over possession of a Victoria Erotica collection. They fight for possession of the premiere piece of the collection: The Hysteria Machine. I found it fascinating, and hilarious. I think I would love to go to a sex museum. Someone should take me.

Here is some dialogue from the courtroom:

Shirley Schmidt: Could you tell us how the Hysteria Machine works?

Clifford Cabot: Women would frequently complain of symptoms such as nervousness, heaviness in the abdomen, vaginal lubrication, insomnia, and so on. Physicians referred to these symptoms as “hysteria,” but of course they were actually signs of sexual arousal. Before inventions such as this, the physicians would ‘massage’ a woman until she reached a climactic “paroxysm,” as they called it.

Shirley Schmidt: And how did this machine come into being?

Clifford Cabot: A doctor invented it because, well...his arms got tired.


Behold, the Hysteria Machine:



Oh those Victorians, the crazy buggers, treating female sexuality as an illness.
I miss having lewd suppertime conversation. I want to talk about pornography and masturbation and penises while I eat! It helps digestion. I'm not sure my family would appreciate it...

I finished Life of Pi today. It was pretty good, especially...the iiiiiisland. Mostly, I wasn't very motivated to read the book, I just wanted to finish it...so I sucked most of the pleasure out of it. However, I was amazed at how much could happen in the middle of the ocean, in a lifeboat...for 200 pages... god...

I would have gotten more out of it if I hadn't been skimming, but...I am done. *throws book in the corner* Actually, that's a lie. I placed it gently on the book shelf, and I liked it just fine. Now, if only I would finish One Hundred Years of Solitude, which I love (So much. It's amazingly written, and although I am only halfway through the novel, it is easily one of my favorite books), but haven't gotten around to picking back up. Oh magic realism, yer so crazy.

I ate a fortune cookie today. It read:

You will be rewarded for your hard work this past month. . .

. . .in bed. :D:D

Bear Orgy : Thrill Lay

I love Boston Legal. . .so much. It breaks my heart, but still makes me laugh hysterically--which makes for some funny faces. It jerks me around, but I don't care...plus, Alan Shore is the sexiest lawyer alive. (Who is, uh. . .fictional).

But seriously, William Shatner and James Spader have such great chemistry.

Tonight, I saw Déjà Vu with my dad. It was pretty good, kept my attention and such. There were explosions, gun fights, time manipulation, and love. Good stuffs. Plus, it was nice to finally get out of the house, although it would have been nice if the sun had been up. Oh well.

On Monday, I believe, Bre will be coming over, and then next weekend, I will take a trip to the lovely state of Iowa. Perhaps I will see some corn. I love corn ;)

Well, I am happy to be alive. It's pretty much the greatest thing ever!

Ok. So I registered for classes last night. But it didn't work. So I had to register again today.
Anyways, I have classes.

Lily, Kaitlin, you mentioned that you might be taking Behavioral Medicine? Well, I am totally in that class, so I hope you guys are too. I miiiiiiisssssss you two!!!!!!!!!!!

I also am going to take either the Sensation/Perception Psych class or Classical Studies, depending on if I can get into Chico's class or not.

and then Measurements/Data for Psych. I may or may not take the Sensation Lab with the Psych class...Labs don't like me very much...I am lazy.

Ok. So I am listening to really depressing music and trying to write my story about a ten year old girl who gets raped.

yeah. Wooooo happy.

I am home for the night, because no one is around to amuse me and I need to get this done.

Battlestar was frakking amazing on Friday night. One of the best episodes so far. I want to watch it again.


Kaitlin and/or Lily: Do either of you have the Disney pics where I am wearing my Goofy hat? If so, I would really love them. :)

I have been watching Firefly with Peter and I love it. We finished the third episode the other night. Only ten more to go. Then we will rewatch Serenity. Yay for awesome sci-fi television!

You know what I hate? Boobs. They are gross. I hate them so much.

<3

Well, I finished The End, and although it was enjoyable, it was slightly disappointing. I was hoping for more punch. An ending that made me go...Ohhhh Myyyyy GOD! But, it didn't. It was pleasant though. Read it within 24 hours.

I am having a difficult time starting my 2nd short story for class. It is due in less than 6 days. I have a sort of idea right now, and am trying to hammer some words out.

Hung out with Bre today. I have a Dev.Psych midterm on Wednesday which I have to study for, plus stories to critique. All that and work on my short story. I want to have something done that I can give to Aubrey to read.

Aubrey stayed with me this past weekend, and it was highly enjoyable. We had tons of lesbian sex. Oh! And we totally had alcohol. Aubrey drank it legally though. The Sevy boys had a party. I got to talk to Rachel, Max, Nik, Adam and others. It was pleasant. For the party we went on a "booze run." Aubrey and Brandon went to the liquor store and Peter and I went to Econo for mixers.

I got to watch Carl play this Sega/SuperNintendo game, Earthworm Jim, which is this really surreal, acid-tripped-out video game. It was awesome. Then Peter and I watched Cube. I'm not sure he enjoyed it as much as I do...

I got the 13th Lemony Snicket book today, The End, and on page 62, this line made me laugh:

"My father was devoured by a manatee, and my mother was washed ashore when she was pregnant with me."

HAH!

Battlestar was awesome as always, and Aubrey is going to stay the weekend!

Battlestar was tonight!!!!!!!!!

It was so great. I loved every moment of it. Especially Starbuck's first scene. :)
Gaius was as beautiful as ever.
You guys are going to love it.
Ohh Apollo... Who's more attractive now? huh? HUH?

Afterwards, hung out with the boys, watched Power Rangers on YouTube.
It was pretty great. ;)

A couple of days ago, I went to supper, and I had collected a few cups of food to take back to my room so I could eat while writing my story...
I wanted to take some coffee with me, but for some reason the regular coffee was out, so I just got the cappuccino crap. Another girl got a mug full of the flavored coffee. She turns to me and says, "This smells like cigarettes!" I kind of laugh politely and say, "yuck." She smells it again and says, "Here, smell this, tell me I'm not crazy, just think of old hot dogs and smell this." So of course, I did. It kind of did smell like a mixture of old hot dogs and cigarettes...

But then. She says to me, "I always wanted to smoke, I mean, it looks so cool! But, you know, it'll kill you."

.... who says that?

I said to her, "No! Don't smoke!" and kind of laughed and walked back to my dorm.

I really hope she doesn't ever take up smoking.

My mom and my friend, Bre are trying to quit smoking.

Yay for not smoking!

(I just found this blogspot that I create back in 2003. This post was actually made then. I am just editing it. This is just going to be randomness. Keeping in touch with my roomies and whatnot. Miss you guys! <3)